October 13, 2016

AARP caregiving documentary my full-circle moment

UPDATE: We will be holding a special screening of "Caregiving: The Circle of Love" at the University of San Francisco, Fromm Hall on Nov. 1 at 6 p.m. The event will include a panel discussion and Q&A with featured caregivers MSNBC anchor Richard Lui and AARP Historian Emerita Lily Liu, who are featured in the documentary, and moderated by Toan. Admission is free and all are welcome. Click here for more info.

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Whenever I get the chance — whether it be to my students, mentees or audiences at speaking engagements — I tell people, “Be careful what you think; your thoughts become your words. Then be careful what you say because your words, when spoken, become real. You manifest the reality.”

So when you hear yourself saying, “I’m fat, ugly, not good enough. I can’t <fill in the blank>,” check yourself and instead tell yourself, “I’m working on being more healthy. I’m going to be my best self and I can. I believe it.”

Your intentions are more powerful than you think.

For example, I originally intended to use my powers — which I believe are my resources, talents and network — to inspire kids and the elderly. Why? Well, because kids and elders are closest to the spirit world. Not to get all weird and woo woo, but hear me out.

They know what’s important in life. The true meaning of life: to have fun and to be our best self and help others. Kids are not preprogrammed to find a job, attain material things and work to pay bills. Elders have wisdom. They’ve lived life and can tell you a thing or two about life’s abundant lessons.

Be careful what you wish for and think, because it will come true.

My intention when creating my nonprofit Go Inspire Go — to serve the youth and inspire them through storytelling — led me to my dear friend Kala Shah, a mother of three young boys. Together, we created the Community Heroes program, which uses our videos about everyday heroes in schools to inspire compassion and action — and the next generation of service-oriented heroes!
While there was no Community Heroes program to help inspire me while growing up, there was my grandma. My late paternal grandmother, whom we call “Ma,” instilled spirituality, compassion and altruism in me, and was the catalyst for my soft spot for elders. I knew one day I would do something with elders. I just didn’t know how that would manifest.

Last fall out of the blue, my friend and brother in journalism Richard Lui, an NBC and MSNBC anchor, emailed me because AARP was looking for a storyteller to head a project on Chinese American caregivers. Little did I know I was about to embark on a legacy project — a project that would inspire, educate and open me up in ways words cannot accurately describe.

The next thing I knew, I signed on to become the executive producer of “Caregiving: The Circle of Love,” a documentary featuring three caregiving heroes in the Asian American community: Richard and two other caregivers, Elizabeth Chun (a “sandwich caregiver”) and Lily Liu (AARP Historian Emerita).

The full circle moment — I present to you the West Coast premiere of the documentary at my alma mater, the University of San Francisco:


What I learned from this experience and action items:

1. Where do I even begin? I learned we are all connected through caregiving. One day we will either have to give care or receive care, or perhaps both.

2. My family and I did the best we could, but there are many ways we could’ve been better prepared to care. The goal of this documentary is to inspire everyone to initiate a dialogue with their loved ones about caregiving. Use this film as a conversation starter, then follow up with this content-rich “Prepare to Care” toolkit from AARP. This will save you and your family a lot of physical, emotional and fiscal heartache.

3. For more caregiving resources, visit aarp.org/caregiving.

Onward and upward,
Toan

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