August 4, 2017

Man Thought Act was 'Selfish,' but Changes Homeless Person's Life Forever

Adam on the left; Tarec, from Jamaica on the right.

By Calista Tee
Go Inspire Go Contributor

Every time I look at this picture, I’m reminded to always finish what you started.

Adam had always noticed Tarec strolling outside a Starbucks in Marin City, Calif. He frequently pondered whether to invite this homeless man to lunch, but always found an excuse not to. One day, feeling lonely and perhaps being what he described as “selfish,” Adam decided to switch off his critical internal voice and asked Tarec, “Do you want to have lunch with me?”

As they bonded over the meal, Adam learned that Tarec, born and raised in Jamaica, moved to the U.S. eight years ago in search of a better life to provide for his family back home. However, Tarec hasn’t had it easy; he’s been living in a tent next to the freeway and was living off of the berries he picked for the past year.

Feeling sympathetic, Adam brought Tarec back to his apartment for a long-needed wash up. Both of them then agreed to work together to help Tarec get back on his feet.

What happened over the next two weeks was life-changing.

Adam took Tarec around to buy new clothes, apply for jobs online and drive him from door-to-door to seek job opportunities. They received a few positive responses, however, most required people to submit job applications online. Sounds easy, right?

Wrong.

Looking at Tarec struggling to fill out his online application struck a chord with Adam as he realized we all take our computer literacy for granted.

“We’ve all heard someone say, ‘Why don’t they just get a job?’ or ‘They’re lazy,’” Adam said. “I saw firsthand how the ‘system’ is set up to fail people like Tarec. There is no way he would have been able to do any of this without my help.”

After multiple phone interviews and an in-person interview, Tarec ultimately landed a job at a Safeway grocery store.

“His smile was radiant, he stood up straighter
and even walked with a swagger.”

Adam and Tarec’s story didn’t end there.

Landing a job merely marked the beginning of Tarec’s journey. To look presentable, energetic and healthy for work, Tarec needed a better living situation. He felt self-conscious about being homeless and never showed up for work. Days later, he was fired by Safeway.

That’s when Adam learned sometimes it takes more than a job to get out of homelessness.

To provide better living conditions for Tarec, Adam set up a GoFundMe campaign for #TarecsFreshStart that has received media attention and raised more than $16,000 in five months. The goal was to raise enough to cover a year's worth of rent and basic necessities for Tarec.

Of course, none of this would have been possible without the empowering unity and help of thousands to get Tarec to where he is today.

Back in February, Tarec was eventually able to afford a flight back to Jamaica to visit his family. We’re not sure what the future holds for Tarec, but like what Adam said, “I’m hopeful. And I guess at the end of the day, that’s really all we can be — to just be hopeful.”


Adam urges to “never underestimate the power of compassion and how even a smile can make someone’s day. Inspiring action from others is one of the greatest gifts that has come from sharing Tarec’s story.”

A wonderful example of friendship and love that knows no race, no color, no class and no gender.

July 19, 2017

All Good Deeds Are Indeed Good

By Calista Tee
Go Inspire Go Contributor

Helping the unfortunate can be a huge, hairy topic.

Recently, someone shared his learnings from an encounter with a woman he met in a train station on Facebook. She was handing out packs of tissues with a flyer in exchange for donations. If you didn't feel like donating, you could give it back to her.


Living in San Francisco, he’s seen lots of people ask for money and he admittedly “(shamefully) rarely ever” gives. This time though, he gave her a donation because the tissues were something he needed.

He was reminded of the importance of providing value before asking for something.

“Necessity is the mother of innovation, a lesson I learned today from a mom,” he shared.

Then, this comment popped up on his Facebook post:

"So Cringy....
Not sure why you feel the need to brag about giving a woman $3... It doesn't make you a miraculous creature to donate to money to those in need. I don't need to expand on this".


1. The central message was about giving something of value before receiving.

2. A good deed is a good deed. Period.

Imagine this:

If a child donated $3 from his own pocket to the woman, he would’ve been applauded. Facebook posts would have gone viral. People would’ve reacted with heart or pride emojis.

That doesn't make an adult donating $3 any different.

What I want to say is:

We do what we can to help others.

There’s always something to learn from others.

Big or small, these lessons neither deserve to be belittled nor go unheard.

Plus, this exchange happened both ways.


The man with the story: Jordan Crawford

June 20, 2017

10 Unconventional Things I Do To Make Myself Happier

By Rebecca Temsen
Guest Blogger

Sometimes, all we want is to be happy. I know we can’t be happy all the time, but just a few good moments can really make your day. I’ve written a post titled “I Want to Be Happy! 41 Things That Will Make You Happier” with 41 great things that can make anyone happier. There are some really cool ideas that are unconventional and here are my Top 10 from that list and why I love them so much!


P.S., I won’t be explaining too much about the points but more about why I think they can work. This is not just a summary of that post, but it’s a different perspective. You can check out the post to read them in more detail.

1. Remember the bad times

Bad times are bad times. You may think it’s counterproductive to start remembering them, but I look at it in a different way. I look at what I went through and appreciate how easy things are now compared to those times. In that perspective, I believe we can all be a bit happier when we start remembering bad times.

2. Wake up early

If you’re like me and you hate waking up early, you must be thinking, how can waking up early make me happier? It goes a bit deeper than that. Whenever I get up earlier, I tend to do a lot more. I get more things done, I feel more productive and most importantly, I feel that my day is not wasted.

3. Stay up late

Waking up early is one thing. This is the total opposite. In this case, I stay up late to have fun, binge watch a show or just relax in my bath. You can do whatever you feel like, but in my experience, just make sure it’s not work. The extra time spent staying up late and doing something relaxing has really been beneficial to me.

4. Call in sick to work

This is not the best piece of advice, but calling in sick to work can do wonders! Here’s how I look at it: It’s Sunday night and I’m dreading everything because Monday is coming. I call in sick, Sunday is great and when Monday comes, I take the day off doing whatever I like. It’s like two birds with one stone. I feel happier on Sunday and Monday! But don’t tell your boss I suggested it.

5. Cook a meal

You might not be a great cook. I definitely can’t cook to save my life. So why suggest it, then? Go ahead and find a recipe of your favorite dish, go to the market and get the ingredients and try cooking. There’s just something about cooking. I’m not sure if it’s creating and eating your dish, or the conversation it starts. It doesn’t matter if you’re eating alone or with friends and family. Somehow, it just makes me happier. Then there’s baking!

6. Wear that outfit

What this means is wearing something fancy. I have it, you have it. It’s tucked away in the closet and we save it for special occasions. Why not make today a special occasion? Wear it, go out or stay in. It doesn’t matter. Heck, maybe you can even cook a meal, then change into your outfit to eat it. The feeling is strange, yet satisfying.

7. Pet an animal

Animals are great. I’m not talking about petting your own pet. Head over to the pet store or shelter. If you hate animals, you might still want to head over and just observe them. See how animals live without stress, without worries. It’s almost like when we were kids. There’s something soothing about petting an animal that brings so much joy. Even better, go ahead to the local petting zoo and watch the kids petting animals.

8. Write yourself a letter

This is something I try to do every year. I tend to do it at the start of the year. I’ll read the past year’s letter while I write next year’s one. It doesn’t have to be a year’s wait. I’ve tried a month and what I read is just amazing! My thoughts at that time will always amaze me. Take it one step further and write something to your future self when you’re really happy. Then one day when you feel a bit down, take that letter out and read it.

9. Dare yourself to do something silly

When was the last time you did something silly? Honestly, I prefer to do this somewhere I won’t be recognized and I’m sure you would too. But this is great. Taking the first step is exhilarating, but once you’re in stride, there’s no stopping you. And the feeling? You can’t imagine! Get some ideas online and just do it!

10. Do smiling exercises

What’s a smiling exercise? It’s exactly that. Exercising your smile. Look in a mirror and start smiling. Test different smiles. You’ll be amazed at how this makes you feel. This is probably the most practical out of the 10 and you can do it every day! Try it. You won’t regret it.

There you have it. My 10 favorite of the 41 things that can make us happier. I know you’ll have your own preference. Leave a comment below and let us know what makes you happier!

Author’s Bio:
Rebecca is an author, entrepreneur and most of all, a wife and mother of two. What she enjoys the most is helping normal people reach their full potential. Rebecca uses her ever-growing skills in writing to inspire people and not settle for a normal life. As an entrepreneur, she has no shortage of failures and that is why Rebecca is the ideal person to talk about this. Read more at http://www.selfdevelopmentsecrets.com

June 8, 2017

How to Talk to Children About Suicide

The expression, “I have no words,” have been echoing repeatedly since my brother-in-law committed suicide last week.

Yes, he killed himself. A gunshot wound to the chest at his home and he was gone.

I warn you, I am going to be blunt and tell the TRUTH in this blog because I’m tired of people sweeping the unseemly under the rug and being hush-hush when someone commits suicide.

It’s this very silence on this “taboo” topic, this turn-your-head-away-because-it-could-never-happen-to-me mentality that causes loved ones to be mental, maniacal, suicidal.


I was the first family member in California my sister Lynn contacted when the unthinkable happened at her home in Fort Myers, Fla.

Last Saturday, I thought it was strange my sister was calling at 1:30 a.m. her time. I will never forget the bone-chilling, screeching voice as my sister cried in an unrecognizable voice, “Chris [her husband] shot himself!”

I couldn’t understand what was going on. “What? Who is this?”

She screamed repeatedly, “Chris shot himself in the chest!”

Worried about my nephew Drew, 12, and niece Serena, 8, I yelled, “How are the kids?”

“They’re not injured. I need you here! The police are here,” Lynn shouted as she hung up.

Shock… helplessness… disbelief… grief… sent tremors through my body.

I scrambled to call loved ones to help me sort through the foggy madness. I needed someone to grab the kids, hold them and tell them they’ll be OK.

Thankfully, we got a hold of a couple of Chris’ best friends in Florida, Mike and Stephanie Letourneau, to quickly retrieve the kids to make sure they were in loving arms as the police investigation was underway.

I booked the next flight to Fort Myers and feverishly searched online for “How to help grieving children” and “How to explain suicide to kids.” I also called my psychologist friends, Dr. Gladys Ato and Dr. Ron Holt, for counsel. (I sure didn’t want to say the wrong things and thwart the healing process or cause more anguish.)

When I arrived in Florida, I hugged my inconsolable sister, niece and nephew and promised them we would get through this together because we have awesome, loving and supportive family and friends.

I notice the awkward interactions that usually ensue as folks tried to console my family. What do we do? What do we say? How do we help heal? What if we say something wrong?


Four days later, my sister’s neighbor told me she wasn’t going to tell her kids. I feel this hush-hush, don’t talk about it, skirt-around-the-truth mentality is what teaches our kids to silence their natural state, hold back and bottle emotions and creates this vicious cycle of dishonesty.

I thought, “If we don’t tell the truth, talk and cry openly, we are closing off the communication that heals us all during times of grief.”

I had to pen this blog to share the amalgam of learnings, research and tips from grief counselors (thank you to all the pros who mirrored this same message.)

1. Tell the TRUTH. Many folks don’t like confrontation and would rather tell half-truths, white lies or complete lies altogether. If you don’t tell your kids, or decide to tell them a partial truth, trust me, the truth will eventually surface. My niece told her other 8-year-old (and younger) friends, “My daddy shot himself. I am sad. I miss him.”

During this already confusing time of grief, if parents don’t tell the kids the truth and the kids found out from others, I believe this causes distrust and breaks the comfort and openness kids desperately need during times of distress.

2. When talking to kids about death, use simple, easy-to-understand clear words. Don’t say “passed away.” Don’t say “went to sleep.” It confuses kids. Instead consider saying “died” or “killed.” Be honest. Children will express grief in different ways. Some through talking. Others will act out, scream and shout. Here is a good resource on how to talk to kids of certain developmental ages.

3. Encourage them to express their feelings and cry. Don’t hide your emotions and tears. Let them flow. Tears do wash away some of the pent up anger, resentment and sadness.

I cried in front of my niece and nephew, but ran out of the house when I was about to burst into an ugly cry. My nephew (remember, he’s 12) ran out to hug and console me and said, “It will be OK, Uncle Toan.” My niece (remember, she’s 8) told my sister, “Mom, don’t be sad. I don’t want you to be heartbroken, you could die of heartbreak.”

Another time, my nephew shared, “I got you a gift. Remember, you really liked this candle at the boutique? I wanted to get it for you.” He knows my fondness for candles, apothecary stuff. He knew it would calm me. I couldn't believe that in a time of grief, he was thinking of caring for me.

Listen to your kids, they can teach us so much!

I noticed my nephew and niece were able to process some of the pain better after they began talking about their feelings. I encourage starting off the dialogue by telling a story about the person who passed away. I also noticed funny memories helped create some levity and lifted their spirits.

Dr. Ato and Dr. Holt both strongly recommended getting my sister and her kids to a psychologist with experience in childhood trauma as soon as possible, as the success rate is significantly better the quicker they can get professional help. My sister was still in shock and looked like a zombie when I saw her. She was in no state to make decisions. So I booked them a session with a psychologist fast.

Things I told/asked them:
- It’s OK to cry.
- They said they were confused. I told them I was, too, and encouraged them to talk about it so we could help each other understand.
- How are you feeling after losing dad?
- What are some good memories you had with him?
- Kids undergoing the trauma of losing a parent or guardian worry about being cared for. So I told them my family and I will always be there to take care of them and talk to them through all of their troubles and mistakes.

4. Reassure and tell them it’s not their fault. One stage of grief is blaming ourselves or feeling guilty. When dealing with suicide, tell the kids, “It’s not your fault. It’s the disease in his head that killed him. Not you.”


5. Let them know they are not alone and we will get through this together. Again (it’s important to do this again and again) kids want to be comforted and know they will be taken care of. Let them know you’ll always be there for them.

6. Oxygen mask first. When you’re on an airplane, you’re reminded in case of an emergency, the oxygen masks will drop and you should put your mask on first before helping others. Remember, you’re grieving too, so practice self-care. If you’re not well, you’re not going to do a good job helping your loved ones.

7. Breathe… this too shall pass. It may be a good idea to set a timer on your cell phone to remember you to breathe and focus on the present moment and the things you’re grateful for during this time of distress.

8. As one of my favorite poets, the late Maya Angelou, once said, “There is always a rainbow in the cloud.” Trust me, grief is like surfing. It hits you in waves. In 2000, I lost four family members in a year’s time. It does get better. If you are present, talk about your feelings and work through your grief.

Here is an interview I conducted with my dear friend Marianna Cacciatore, a grief expert. I love how she explains how grief leads to love and generosity:
Here are some additional links to helpful resources:
-“Helping your child deal with death” (KidsHealth)
-“How to help a grieving child” (The Dougy Center)

* Special thanks to everyone who has reached out, prayed, donated food and resources, opened their home and continue to send their love. IT is lifting us and allowing us to see light during these dark times.

* If you would like to help support my sister's family, a friend has set up a GoFundMe campaign.

As my niece says, I love you (all) beyond the universe and back.

Love and light,
Toan

May 11, 2017

A Billion Reasons Why I'm Living the Dream of Inspiring Others (Including Forbes!)

Dear everybody who has a dream but is scared to take action on living life to the fullest,

Growing up in a poor, refugee family from Vietnam in a trailer park in Sacramento, Calif., I never thought my story mattered.

Toan and his grandmother in a refugee camp after fleeing Vietnam.

I remember thinking, “Why would anybody care about a poor Asian kid?” Most of the successful people I saw on TV were white. Deep down inside, I thought it would be so cool to be on TV and be a voice for the voiceless, but in the early 80s, even Oprah wasn’t living her best life. She was navigating her way through the talk show world. I dreamed of running scripts to Lavar Burton on “Reading Rainbow.” He was one of the only black male TV show hosts I saw on TV.

It wasn’t until several mentors convinced me my story, my talent for connecting with people, mattered, that I started to realize my true American Dream. It’s crazy to me that Forbes recently wrote an article about my latest passion work, a podcast called “TruthDare,” which is an amalgam of my professional work as a nonprofit founder, motivational speaker and university instructor.

Forbes article on Toan Lam
Toan was recently featured on Forbes about redefining the American Dream through inspiring others.

After the fall of Saigon, my family of 10 came to the U.S. with just four dollars and hopes of achieving the “American Dream.” For my parents, the dream was for me to become a “doctor, lawyer, engineer.” But what got me excited to wake up each morning was my love for reading, writing and interacting with people.

I read every single book I could get my hands on. Reading was a way for me to escape the reality of living in Section 8 housing, welfare and hopelessness in the different neighborhoods we inhabited. I read every children’s book I could get my phalanges on. I read my older sister’s textbooks. I even read shampoo bottles aloud in the shower: “Rinse, lather, repeat, methylparaben.”

My parents’ dreams for me went unfulfilled. I tried to be a pediatrician and even took Mr. Clarion’s honors chemistry class in high school, barely passing. I remember feeling the lowest of energy forms when I tried to make my parents’ American Dream come true. Instead, I listened to my inner GPS and found my American Dream by inspiring people to discover their superpower and use it to help others.

My journey took me to the University of San Francisco, where I had five internships, worked nearly full-time and carried a heavy load of classes. My reporting career took me from Wausau, Wisconsin, to Midland, Texas, then Fresno, Calif., and finally San Francisco. Eventually, I left the TV biz because I wanted to use my knack for storytelling to lift, gift and shift people.

I did this through my nonprofit, Go Inspire Go. It started with me and Kathryn Blancas, one volunteer. Fast-forward nine years later, more than 100 videos of heroes whom I will never forget, 150+ volunteers around the world and enough impact to make me feel like I’ve lived several lifetimes.


From Phoebe Russell, who, as a 5-year-old, was sad to see so many hungry and homeless people in her community. She wanted to collect aluminum cans and give the earnings to the San Francisco-Marin Food Bank. We helped her enable the food bank to give out more than 200,000 meals.

Then there’s Dr. Ron Holt, a psychiatrist who spends much of his free time speaking about his research and personal experiences to spread compassion in the LGBT community. He travels the country to promote kindness and self-love as he shares his harrowing story about growing up gay in a small Midwest town. People who saw our video wrote to Dr. Holt and said it inspired them to come out to their opposite sex partners and kids. One person wrote in telling Dr. Holt he had been kicked out of his home after coming out to his parents as a teen. He said the video and Dr. Holt’s story inspired him to live another day and be OK with his truth.

Every single hero’s story I’ve told changed my own story, and I promise you, if you pay attention, it will change yours, too. You see, all of our stories matter. Many times, we just feel like they don’t. There were countless times I contacted someone I wanted to feature and he or she would say, “But, I’m not a hero.” After speaking with them and sharing other hero stories I’ve covered, many told me they got off the phone and wept in realization that they, too, matter.

Although I never became a doctor at my parents’ behest, I was reminded by a dear friend and mentor, Gina Pell, that I AM a doctor: a doctor of the soul.

I truly thought I would be a billionaire before I would make it in Forbes. I have now been featured by them twice. Although I may not have a billion dollars in my bank account – yet – I feel like a billion dollars, thanks to a life full of rich experiences paid for by the risks, challenges and hardships my parents and ancestors endured.

One of my favorite quotes shared by the late Maya Angelou is, “Your crown has been paid for. Put it on and wear it.”

I’m happy to share I’m wearing my crown and sharing it with everyone I meet. I dare you to live your truth, share your story and wear (and share) your crown.

Be good,
Dr. Toan Lam